Growing Pain

This has been a hard week for three of us. It is Ryan’s first week at preschool, first time for him to be away from home and us. As expected, there were a lot of tears after the 2nd day when the novelty wore out. The first two days, I thought we hit jackpot because he didn’t cry and managed to say good-bye to me even though he appeared sad when I was leaving the classroom. But on the 3rd day, the separation anxiety peaked. He was crying so sadly and telling me that he didn’t’ want me to leave. That was the hardest thing I, as a mom, ever had to do – leaving behind a crying child. On the way back home, he told me he didn’t like me anymore. After some probing, I realized that he has some resentment toward me because he felt abandoned…..That alone already made me heartbroken but what hit me the most was that the same night, we were role playing.  I asked him to help me pull up my socks; he turned away immediately and said “I have things to do and I don’t have time.” That totally struck me and showed exactly how he felt. He was upset and disappointed that I chose to go to work and didn’t offer to comfort him while he was miserable. I felt like a failure as a mom.

As much as I tell myself that this is part of learning for him, I could not help but wonder if this is way too painful and too early for him to experience. The idea of a two and half year old child trying to make himself comfortable at a new environment, in addition to having a language barrier, made me so sad. But what really assured us was his desire to go back to school even after many days of crying. I thought it would take a lot of convincing for him to want to return to school the next day. But every morning he surprised us with his excitement to head to school. I think that is attributed to the facts that he is eager to interact with other children, and to explore new materials. But most importantly, all of the staffs at school are so caring and supportive that he feels secured to a certain degree. I really have to thank the school for making the difficult transition a lot easier for us. The director and teacher would call me numerous times throughout the day to let me know how Ryan is doing. They would also take pictures of him both in tears and with smiles, to assure me that there are some happy moments through the day for him. I am quite convinced that I left my precious baby to capable hands. The trust in school and staffs really helped me to go through this difficult process with some confidence. All I’m hoping now is this growing pain to subside soon….

first day at the school

feeding school pet - blackberry

mastering garlic press

Searching for my Hearts!!!

I came across Pia Jane Bijkerk’s heart project (via designsponge) this morning. She is inviting everyone to submit images with heart shape of any sort. She will be compiling an art book of all the selected images at the end. This is a fantastic idea – a collaboration of all the talents out there. As much as I’m dying to see what other creative souls will come up with, I know I will be busy searching for my hearts from now on....

For those interested, here are the criteria for the image submission:
· It needs to include a heart shape of sorts
· It needs to be handmade or ‘found’ by you
· It needs to mean something to you, or displayed in a space that means something to you, that has your heart in some way.
· It needs to be photographed in a space - so if it is an object that you have made, it needs to be photographed in an interesting space - not necessarily a plush-deluxe room, but just a space (it can be inside or outside, but preferably inside)
· It needs to be subtle, not loud and overbearing - but inviting and gentle. Remember the ‘where’s wally?’ books? Well think of that as guidance. Imagine looking at an image and trying to find where the heart is in it.
· The image needs to be a certain size and quality to be able to be published - I will write up the dimensions needed in coming posts.

Happy hunting!!!





Images from pia jane biljkerk

Starting Preschool!!!

Things have been quite hectic at home since December, from Ryan’s suffering from an ear infection, to the nanny quitting, and then the holiday planning. I must say that nanny quitting is probably the biggest challenge for us to cope with. This is our 5th nanny since Ryan was born. So the average term for each nanny is around six months. I don’t think we are a high maintenance family. It really is just a matter of luck. For one reason or another, each one of the nannies had different personal issues that prompted her to leave.

This time around, we’ve decided to send Ryan to a preschool instead of going through another pain staking search process for the right nanny. I think at the age of two and half, Ryan is going to benefit tremendously from the socialization; additionally, we felt that the nanny is no longer able to provide as many stimulating activities for him throughout the day as when he was young. So although I anticipate some tears, in fact probably tons of tears (both his and mine), during the initial adjustment period, I think Ryan will enjoy and benefit more from attending preschool than from the nanny’s care. However, the notion of leaving him to tend to himself is still hard for us to digest at the moment.

I think Warren and I will probably have to flip coins to decide who gets to take on the challenging job of dropping him off at the preschool during the initial weeks……

Winter Yosemite II

This was my second attempt with the paper doll idea. I made the dolls the night before the Yosemite trip and was struggling with their winter outfits until two O'clock in the morning. I'm pretty happy with the way the outfits came out. They look warm and playful in my opinion; probably more stylishly dressed than we actually were on this trip. 8-)

Winter Yosemite I

For us Californians, who don’t get to see snow often, Christmas break is usually the time when everyone makes a pilgrimage to the Sierras to truly witness the winter and experience the snow. We, like everyone else, also left for Yosemite Park during Christmas week to look for our white winter.

As we were climbing up the Sierra mountains, we didn’t see a single drop of snow in the sight. Everyone in the car started to wonder if we would see any snow at all. Although I assured them the weather forecast reported a heavy snow storm a day before our arrival, everyone still had a big question mark in their mind. After another two thousand feet elevation climb with no sight of snow, even I started to have doubts. Gradually, everyone fell asleep with disappointments. However, we didn’t know that endless winter beauties would be waiting for us.

After passing through the park entrance gate, what surprisingly welcomed us were rows of snow covered pine trees and mountains. As we drove through the winding road, the orange-purple sunset, accompanied with snow-covered mountains and mist of fogs created another round of wows from the back seat. As we got closer to our rental cabin at Yosemite West, the moon already rose. The full moon, the moon-reflected Half Dome and the frozen water fall presented another stunning beauty for the night. I have to say no matter how many times you have visited Yosemite Park in the past, seeing it in the winter feels like the very first time. For us grown-ups, seeing Yosemite’s natural beauty in winter is like Ansel Adam’s world-famous photographs being presented in 3D format right in front of us. For Ryan, Shannon and Tony, ranging in age of two to eight, the frosty mountains, endless snow-covered pine trees, the narrow trails leading to nowhere and the occasional appearances of deers and foxes made them feel as if they were in the movie – Narnia. I have to say that my photographs don’t do any justice to Yosemite’s breathtaking winter scenery.

Even though we just came back from the park, we are planning for our next winter visit. Yosemite, we’ll come again soon.

Happy 2008!!!

Wishing you all the best for 2008!!!

PS: This snowman was made with orange/banana peels, dried mushroom, and jujubee on our X'mas trip to Yosemite. All of us had a great time dressing it.