Growing Pain

This has been a hard week for three of us. It is Ryan’s first week at preschool, first time for him to be away from home and us. As expected, there were a lot of tears after the 2nd day when the novelty wore out. The first two days, I thought we hit jackpot because he didn’t cry and managed to say good-bye to me even though he appeared sad when I was leaving the classroom. But on the 3rd day, the separation anxiety peaked. He was crying so sadly and telling me that he didn’t’ want me to leave. That was the hardest thing I, as a mom, ever had to do – leaving behind a crying child. On the way back home, he told me he didn’t like me anymore. After some probing, I realized that he has some resentment toward me because he felt abandoned…..That alone already made me heartbroken but what hit me the most was that the same night, we were role playing.  I asked him to help me pull up my socks; he turned away immediately and said “I have things to do and I don’t have time.” That totally struck me and showed exactly how he felt. He was upset and disappointed that I chose to go to work and didn’t offer to comfort him while he was miserable. I felt like a failure as a mom.

As much as I tell myself that this is part of learning for him, I could not help but wonder if this is way too painful and too early for him to experience. The idea of a two and half year old child trying to make himself comfortable at a new environment, in addition to having a language barrier, made me so sad. But what really assured us was his desire to go back to school even after many days of crying. I thought it would take a lot of convincing for him to want to return to school the next day. But every morning he surprised us with his excitement to head to school. I think that is attributed to the facts that he is eager to interact with other children, and to explore new materials. But most importantly, all of the staffs at school are so caring and supportive that he feels secured to a certain degree. I really have to thank the school for making the difficult transition a lot easier for us. The director and teacher would call me numerous times throughout the day to let me know how Ryan is doing. They would also take pictures of him both in tears and with smiles, to assure me that there are some happy moments through the day for him. I am quite convinced that I left my precious baby to capable hands. The trust in school and staffs really helped me to go through this difficult process with some confidence. All I’m hoping now is this growing pain to subside soon….

first day at the school

feeding school pet - blackberry

mastering garlic press